Kosher Symbol Blues
copyright mendel singer, 2010
Inspiration
Remember when kosher symbols made things less confusing?
Many years ago a great idea was conceived. Put a symbol on the label of products that are kosher, and kosher consumers will know what they can and cannot buy. With the proliferation of symbols, this has become a bit of a nightmare! There are so many symbols. Some are very interesting (I like the horse and buggy K from Amish country). Some are very similar to others. Very confusing. Many years ago, things were less standard in regards to denoting things like pareve(no meat or dairy ingredients) or kosher for Passover. I know a lot of people have stared at a giant stack of American cheese slices, seen it marked OU-P and wondered “Pareve? How can that be?”. I like to think that funny mistakes can at least be turned into a good story or song. In this case, both.
There’s a glossary of terms below for the non-English words.
1. I GOT SO EXCITED, I FOUND PAREVE CHEESE
IT WAS CREAMY AND IT MELTED, IT WAS MARKED O-U P
MADE THE BEST CHEESEBURGER, GAVE MY RABBI A TRY
WHEN I PROUDLY SHOWED THE WRAPPER, HE STARTED TO CRY
HE SAID THE “P” IS NOT FOR PAREVE, IT’S PASSOVER FOOD
WE GOT THE KOSHER SYMBOL BLUES
CHORUS:
I GOT THE KOSHER SYMBOL BLUES
THREE MILLION SYMBOLS, MOST I CAN’T USE
THERE’S A “K” WITH A SQUIGGLY, A “K” WITH A DOT
USE THE WRONG ONE AND YOU TREIF YOUR POT
GOIN’ TO THE GROCER, GIVES ME A SCARE
NOW I DREAM OF KOSHER SYMBOLS, AND IT’S A NIGHTMARE
IT ALL SEEMED SO SIMPLE, SO EASY TO DO
I GOT THE KOSHER SYMBOL BLUES
2. I BOUGHT A TREAT FOR PESACH, IT WAS MARKED K-P
TASTED JUST LIKE CHOMETZ, IT WAS SO YUMMY
MY RABBI SAID IT’S PAREVE, IT’S NOT PASSOVER FOOD
A “P” BY A K’S NOT ALWAYS LIKE BY O-U
FLUSH AWAY YOUR CHOMETZ, THAT’S WHAT YOU GOTTA DO
NOW MY TOILET’S BACKED UP, AND IT’S FLOODED THREE ROOMS
MY HOUSE IS LIKE A MIKVEH, AND MY POTS ARE TREIF ,TOO
I GOT THE KOSHER SYMBOL BLUES
CHORUS
Glossary:
treif = not kosher
mikveh = ritual bath
Pesach = Passover
pareve = not meat or dairy
chometz = leavened food (forbidden on Passover)
yummy = delicious!